zen motherhood

The title sounds like painful words, and quite frankly if I was on the receiving end of it, I would be devastated. My husband has taken it into stride however that my daughter does appear to be more of a mama's girl than a daddy's girl. This is a phenomena that I'm still trying to decipher since ever since she was in the womb, I was sure that she would be a daddy's girl. My husband has two girls already and they are definitely daddy's girls through and through. He is also the more nurturing of the two of us and definitely has the softer/kinder heart as well. And the recent phrase has been "I want mommy. Not daddy". Or "I love mama. not daddy". Ouch huh? More so I am confused by this lack of connection with the parent that is obviously nicer, more nurturing, and the holder of the chocolate in this family. During a recent illness in November, we were inseparable, Naomi and I. With a horrible cough, fever, and congestion, she insisted on being...

I had assumed that when my daughter turned three that I would have this profound soliloquy on her maturity and growth into a new era of development. That did not happen. Nothing happened actually. Except she ate cake (frosting first) and just turned three. I realized though that I wasn't expecting really amazing things from her, but amazing things from me. As a parent I had this hope that at three things would start to crystallize and I would be enlightened into a whole new realm of parenting. Um, that did not happen. I don't even think I ate any cake. I can't remember. Which of course then lead me into a whole other thought process of why, as parents is it such a guessing game and that we question every step that we take and half the time are crossing our fingers behind our backs hoping that it just works?  Why does parenting have to be so 'fly by the seat of your pants'? I'm constantly worried and hope that I am not shaping my child into the next serial k...

Compassion is an interesting topic in our house. We constantly discuss- as parents can we teach our children compassion? What if our kids do not naturally have this characteristic, how would you foster or develop it? For my two year old, going on three, I think it is safe to say that she has this naturally. I have been told she is usually the one who comforts the crying child (ironic since She is the one crying half the time) or helping out the lost kid in class. Maybe she feels for them, almost a two year old empathy. She shows it elsewhere too though, if a bug is hurt she says "oh no!" and as she watches the animal in trouble on Wonder Pets she never fails to tell you the ailment with sure panic in her voice 'oh no, bunny is stuck!' I see these as signs of what I hope is compassion. Most of the time she is just crazy Naomi having a fit because she can't have ding dongs for dinner. But there are moments like the ones above and last night she shows some new leve...

It has been over a year and a half since my daughter started school and still the drop-off is a challenge from time to time. I have analyzed this scenario a thousand times to evaluate what works best for her, for me, the teacher, and the earth since I am all about world peace. Ok, no really though, the idea is that the first week or so, your child has separation anxiety. Completely normal. However, my child has what I call Random Separation Disorder. This is where on any given day she will Not want to go to class. I would also like to point out that it's not a fight from square one- meaning like my older step-daughters, it's right when they get out of bed: "I don't waantt to go to school" (the extra a's and t's are there on purpose- this is to emote whining). No, Naomi gets up although slowly, usually ready for the day after a glass of juice and a bit of a morning movie. But once we get to the classroom door, she freezes. It may be that she is just ... ...

I have to start this post with an aside- to give you some perspective. Many years ago, I was with my good friends and their first son who was about 2. We were playing in the living room when their son sat up on the arm of their leather couch and proceeded to slip off and hit the floor head first. I have never been so mortified or see something happen in such slow motion and feel so helpless in my life. He was ok, but the experience scarred me and I have never let Naomi anywhere near the arm of any couch. Fast forward to July 30th, 6pm. It seems our time had come to have a similar incident. Our family decided to end our Florida vacation at a local Japanese Hibachi Restaurant and as we sat and waited to be seated, Naomi kneeling on a bench proceeded to do the same topple over to hit the ground head first. Now, watching someone else's child is pretty mortifying. To watch someone else's child you care about deeply is even  more mortifying. All of this is compounded by the way ...

So my child has no fear. None. Zilch. Zero. I am certain the empty role that Evel Knievel left behind upon his passing (rip) will soon be filled by my young daredevil daughter. Much to my dismay. A little insight to my personality. I am NOT the daredevil. I am about as far from daredevil as you can get. I can barely Watch daredevils on TV and certainly have a supreme difficult time in handling my daughter's risk taking. This is my husband's role and I like this clear, safe division. However- I recognize that this is a unique trait in my daughter and that a good mom should allow her the freedom and excitement to pursue her daredevil activities. It scares the crap out of me and I have noticed that she is pushing even my limits. And she is only 2. One case example- the beach. She is barely 2 feet tall at 2 and she is marching into the ocean heading into waves larger than her stating "Come On, mommy". "Come on" my *%@.  By the way, a small aside on this- the be...

So I have had this post in my thoughts for awhile but just keep getting more and more examples so I have waited to post. It came to me one day that wouldn't it be nice if we could live life a little more like a two year old? Guzzle your gatorade until your whole mouth turns blue.   If only we could all down our coffee and coke in this same manner. Although one could argue that downing a caffeinated beverage in this way produces some unhealthy results. Run through the field/grass/sand and shout with glee.   Anytime my daughter hits an open space she runs like she is a wild animal set free. If only when we left the office we would run through the parking lot to our cars with the same excitement and enthusiasm. Ask "What??" loudly and clearly for all to hear and until you get an answer you want/understand.   This is probably special to only my daughter but if only we could all just ask What out loud when the world doesn't make sense and continually ask until we...