In Sickness and in Health- working it out
I know this is a term taken from wedding vows (well not the last part), but it's very applicable here. And not to START with a tangent- but why is it that for every other relationship/big endeavor in your life you are required to sign, take a vow over the Holy Bible, or other act of dedication. But to take a baby home... nothing. They should make you do the same thing, swear over the Bible or something "I solemnly swear to be the best parent I can be and not be a jerk to my kids".
Anyways, I have spent the past week and a half- sick. My daughter has spent the past week and half- sick. And to expound on this further, we have spent this entire winter- sick. It has really been horrible and I am at my wits end as to why I always get sick but my husband does not. On top of all of this, I had to work. Well I always have to work, but I think the past two weeks of my working career have been the most stressful I have had in a long time. So - it has been a true test of my zen practice to not lose my freaking mind lately.
Which brings me more to the point of this post- working moms and the play on words in the title, working it out. I don't know how my 'office working' counterparts do it.
To give you some insight, I work for a mobile phone company that is headquartered in Europe. I work very odd hours and work them all from home. From time to time I will need to go into the office, but it's a rare event, and usually am not sure my badge will even work- that's how long it is between visits.
So I have the luxury to at least be at home with my daughter in the afternoons and do some laundry while on a conference call but it's still stressful, along with recently being sick I have become more sensitive and reflective about this. How to manage the house, manage her, manage my job and then try to get better is beyond my abilities I believe. I don't know what I would do if I had to get into an office by 9am and only return home at 6pm.
My neighbor recently became a stay at home mom. I used to feel I didn't have a lot in common with this demographic. However, looking at my friends list in Facebook, some of my closest friends are actually stay at home moms. My mom was a stay at home mom. When I was young, I always thought I would Be a stay at home mom. But now, I can't imagine what I would do if I did. What happened to me?
I am jealous of this life. Financially we could never afford for me to not work. But the idea is very appealing. Just think how clean my house would be!! (please see previous blog on my freakish obsession with clean)
So I wound up having a mini meltdown right at the peak of the work week with my husband. I couldn't take it anymore, the dishes piling up, the laundry spilling over the hampers, and my service at work crashing AND we were all sick. It was too much.
btw I know some of you are thinking 'what is your husband doing?' and to defend him here, he actually does a lot. He takes care of her in the mornings if I have conference calls and the same in the afternoon if I have something super important to work on. He does the dishes and laundry when they become overwhelming too but it was just this particular week (he had been sick too) we had both slacked on keeping up with this stuff.
So working mom or not I think at the end of the day, especially at times of being sick and everyone in the house is sick- you start to go a little crazy.
So in the words of one of my best friend's ex "let's bring it home"- applying the zen to all this?
There is a zen philosophy that encourages you to flow like water. It's in martial arts as well and I like this analogy. Water is constantly flowing. If it runs into a rock, or tree stump, it just flows around it. If it picks up debris or trash it just carries it and eventually lets it float away. So when I reach the obstacles and challenges in life, rather than trying to overpower them and over-think them, perhaps I should just ... flow. I just can't help thinking it would be a lot easier to flow, if I wasn't sick. :-)
Anyways, I have spent the past week and a half- sick. My daughter has spent the past week and half- sick. And to expound on this further, we have spent this entire winter- sick. It has really been horrible and I am at my wits end as to why I always get sick but my husband does not. On top of all of this, I had to work. Well I always have to work, but I think the past two weeks of my working career have been the most stressful I have had in a long time. So - it has been a true test of my zen practice to not lose my freaking mind lately.
Which brings me more to the point of this post- working moms and the play on words in the title, working it out. I don't know how my 'office working' counterparts do it.
To give you some insight, I work for a mobile phone company that is headquartered in Europe. I work very odd hours and work them all from home. From time to time I will need to go into the office, but it's a rare event, and usually am not sure my badge will even work- that's how long it is between visits.
So I have the luxury to at least be at home with my daughter in the afternoons and do some laundry while on a conference call but it's still stressful, along with recently being sick I have become more sensitive and reflective about this. How to manage the house, manage her, manage my job and then try to get better is beyond my abilities I believe. I don't know what I would do if I had to get into an office by 9am and only return home at 6pm.
My neighbor recently became a stay at home mom. I used to feel I didn't have a lot in common with this demographic. However, looking at my friends list in Facebook, some of my closest friends are actually stay at home moms. My mom was a stay at home mom. When I was young, I always thought I would Be a stay at home mom. But now, I can't imagine what I would do if I did. What happened to me?
I am jealous of this life. Financially we could never afford for me to not work. But the idea is very appealing. Just think how clean my house would be!! (please see previous blog on my freakish obsession with clean)
So I wound up having a mini meltdown right at the peak of the work week with my husband. I couldn't take it anymore, the dishes piling up, the laundry spilling over the hampers, and my service at work crashing AND we were all sick. It was too much.
btw I know some of you are thinking 'what is your husband doing?' and to defend him here, he actually does a lot. He takes care of her in the mornings if I have conference calls and the same in the afternoon if I have something super important to work on. He does the dishes and laundry when they become overwhelming too but it was just this particular week (he had been sick too) we had both slacked on keeping up with this stuff.
So working mom or not I think at the end of the day, especially at times of being sick and everyone in the house is sick- you start to go a little crazy.
So in the words of one of my best friend's ex "let's bring it home"- applying the zen to all this?
There is a zen philosophy that encourages you to flow like water. It's in martial arts as well and I like this analogy. Water is constantly flowing. If it runs into a rock, or tree stump, it just flows around it. If it picks up debris or trash it just carries it and eventually lets it float away. So when I reach the obstacles and challenges in life, rather than trying to overpower them and over-think them, perhaps I should just ... flow. I just can't help thinking it would be a lot easier to flow, if I wasn't sick. :-)
Comments
Post a Comment