Virtual Family
I am in Google+ and Facebook to keep up with my friends. I use Skype with my daughter each week to call my parents. I work from home and connect with my team through conference calls and chat. I rarely connect physically with a human being except for an occasional meet up with friends and well my husband who sits about 5 feet away.
We are a virtual family in the extreme sense. Naomi has become so accustomed to seeing her extended family through the computer that whenever I boot up the laptop that we use for Skype she asks 'we calling bachi'? (bachi is short for Obaachan which is Japanese for grandma).
And I wonder many times whether or not this is the best thing for her. I never lived close to my grandparents or any of my extended family growing up. I always felt remiss every holiday when all of my friends would gather up with their cousins and grandparents for dinner. With my daughter too, I always think that I should try to plan a trip each year so she can see her grandparents and aunt and uncle.
I wonder also if Naomi will have a different closeness to these people since it is all virtual?
But I think I misjudge the new generation. The virtual world is so commonplace for us, I seem to miss that it can be a bridge that I would have never thought possible. Recently, two things have happened that have reassured my concerns of this virtual world that my daughter is such a natural part of- 1) a dharma talk and 2) a recent a visit to my parents.
1) The Dharma talk- over the weekend of Easter there was a dharma talk that really struck a note with me, and one of the stories shared was the passing of a grandparent. A flurry of old emotions resurfaced from 2008 when my own grandparents passed away and the grief I experienced. I suddenly realized that even in the absence of weekly Skype calls and email, I still had a closeness to my grandparents that most people probably didn't understand. I also realized that the connection you make with people is really coming from within and not so much from the number of times you are sitting down next to them. I know I have sat next to people in grade school for more days straight than my own parents but still don't have any connection there.
2) The visit- as I said, we chat almost every Sunday with my parents and the more we have chats the more animated my daughter has become. Showing off new toys, doing somersaults, and even dancing for the camera. She doesn't always understand their field of vision is only the camera, so she often goes 'off stage' to get a toy or new music item to show them not realizing they can't see until she comes back. When we went to visit them in December, I anticipated a day of the typical 'new people shyness' that she has when we visit them. But to my surprise, not only did she excitedly run up to my mom at the airport, she gave my big bear-like dad a hug! It was a touching moment and one that confirmed that the virtual world is working out okay for us.
We are a virtual family in the extreme sense. Naomi has become so accustomed to seeing her extended family through the computer that whenever I boot up the laptop that we use for Skype she asks 'we calling bachi'? (bachi is short for Obaachan which is Japanese for grandma).
And I wonder many times whether or not this is the best thing for her. I never lived close to my grandparents or any of my extended family growing up. I always felt remiss every holiday when all of my friends would gather up with their cousins and grandparents for dinner. With my daughter too, I always think that I should try to plan a trip each year so she can see her grandparents and aunt and uncle.
I wonder also if Naomi will have a different closeness to these people since it is all virtual?
But I think I misjudge the new generation. The virtual world is so commonplace for us, I seem to miss that it can be a bridge that I would have never thought possible. Recently, two things have happened that have reassured my concerns of this virtual world that my daughter is such a natural part of- 1) a dharma talk and 2) a recent a visit to my parents.
1) The Dharma talk- over the weekend of Easter there was a dharma talk that really struck a note with me, and one of the stories shared was the passing of a grandparent. A flurry of old emotions resurfaced from 2008 when my own grandparents passed away and the grief I experienced. I suddenly realized that even in the absence of weekly Skype calls and email, I still had a closeness to my grandparents that most people probably didn't understand. I also realized that the connection you make with people is really coming from within and not so much from the number of times you are sitting down next to them. I know I have sat next to people in grade school for more days straight than my own parents but still don't have any connection there.
2) The visit- as I said, we chat almost every Sunday with my parents and the more we have chats the more animated my daughter has become. Showing off new toys, doing somersaults, and even dancing for the camera. She doesn't always understand their field of vision is only the camera, so she often goes 'off stage' to get a toy or new music item to show them not realizing they can't see until she comes back. When we went to visit them in December, I anticipated a day of the typical 'new people shyness' that she has when we visit them. But to my surprise, not only did she excitedly run up to my mom at the airport, she gave my big bear-like dad a hug! It was a touching moment and one that confirmed that the virtual world is working out okay for us.
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