zen motherhood

Raising children is a complex thing. I find I am constantly readjusting my tactics. My most recent thing has been around providing my daughter the best environment to be herself. I started to have a theory that kids are a direct product of their parent rather than genuine little beings of their own. You probably hear it a lot "Little Betsy is just like me, hates lizards". But how much of this is Little Betsy and how much of this is a bi-product of the parent? Would our children choose different paths of their own if given the non-judged freedom to do so? One example: bugs. This isn't a life-changing example but hear me out. I hate them. I'm scared to death of the tiniest one and spiders especially freak me out. I literally let out a little scream if I am within touching distance. (which is around 7 ft or so) My daughter however, loves them. From an early age she has shown a genuine interest in the outdoors and bug life. When she was a toddler I freaked out over so...

I think mothering is pretty challenging. Every day I question something I have done and wonder 'was that the best?' This feeling of inadequacy is pretty normal from what I have read, as well as the constant need to overcome it, but I have found this summer that this feeling is compounded as a step-mom. Most of a woman's life is surrounded by images and messages surrounding the nuclear family of Man/Woman/Child. I have some issues with this but that's for another post and probably another blog all together, but to the point, I was conditioned around a certain idea of what a family is made of and the role I play in that. Step-mom was not in that movie/book. It is unique. You are not mom, but you need to behave like one. You get none of the love, none of the respect, nor none of the benefits of a mom but you do have all the burden of worry, concern, and care. I call it a 'burden' not in a negative way but just as it is, it must be done. I think everyone grows t...

Since September of 2012 my daughter has talked about soccer. After staying with some good friends who have two boys that play soccer, Naomi constantly asked when she too would be going to soccer practice. Her cousin plays college soccer, her sisters play soccer at school so why wouldn't she too play soccer?Slacker mom took her time in finding a local league but in February we signed up for a beginner's soccer league just for Naomi's age group. She was thrilled. I was thrilled. We were all thrilled. I had these firm ideas about team sports were so good for kids her age and the hand eye coordination would really help her in future sports. So with two months to go I tucked away the confirmation email and marked the starting day on my calendar. Any trip to our friends who have the boys who play soccer sparked up the conversation again and I would always be able to answer "well starting in April, you too will be playing" which inevitably got a 'yay!' response....