Teaching Compassion
I posted some time back about how does one teach compassion. I wound up commenting how fortunate I was that my daughter has compassion already built in it seems.
With the recent events of the world, the topic has come up once again. I watch the news and pictures of these young people now so angry with the world. At one time, naive to the world and the flaws it clearly has and just enjoying life.
I also have now two teenagers in the house. And although they have spent the past year and a half going through changes, I am bracing myself for more to come as they encounter a new world of emotions, clicks (I think they call them squads now), and crushes. Their compassion is at that precarious point where it will become jaded with the reality of the world. People are not honest. Some of the closest people to you will be mean. School is becoming harder and seemingly unfair. Everyone starts to judge you more by how you look and what you wear rather than what you say or what you do.
My husband and I try to use every opportunity that social media presents (suicides, shootings, bullying) to raise the topics with the girls and discuss their position on things and our views as well.
My youngest is still not ready for these conversations but she's present and listens.
Through all of these conversations I am hoping that we are instilling some sort of base that will hopefully teach some compassion.
However, I have noticed that, especially my daughter, there is a lot to be said about how our children see us as parents. I don't believe the girls look to me so much but they are constantly watching how their dad behaves. They will readily comment when they think he has made a choice 'that isn't quite right'.
My daughter as well is quick to notice my actions and my behavior.
Which recently made me realize that perhaps instead of spending so much time trying to Teach compassion. Perhaps I should just Be compassionate.
To veteran Zen practitioners this is really basic Zen, I guess- they are not much about teaching you every step but more about helping you discover it for yourself. I think I spend so much time worrying that my kids will veer down the wrong path that I have to sometimes let go and let them steer for themselves. I am always there, showing by example, and just being.
With the recent events of the world, the topic has come up once again. I watch the news and pictures of these young people now so angry with the world. At one time, naive to the world and the flaws it clearly has and just enjoying life.
I also have now two teenagers in the house. And although they have spent the past year and a half going through changes, I am bracing myself for more to come as they encounter a new world of emotions, clicks (I think they call them squads now), and crushes. Their compassion is at that precarious point where it will become jaded with the reality of the world. People are not honest. Some of the closest people to you will be mean. School is becoming harder and seemingly unfair. Everyone starts to judge you more by how you look and what you wear rather than what you say or what you do.
My husband and I try to use every opportunity that social media presents (suicides, shootings, bullying) to raise the topics with the girls and discuss their position on things and our views as well.
My youngest is still not ready for these conversations but she's present and listens.
Through all of these conversations I am hoping that we are instilling some sort of base that will hopefully teach some compassion.
However, I have noticed that, especially my daughter, there is a lot to be said about how our children see us as parents. I don't believe the girls look to me so much but they are constantly watching how their dad behaves. They will readily comment when they think he has made a choice 'that isn't quite right'.
My daughter as well is quick to notice my actions and my behavior.
Which recently made me realize that perhaps instead of spending so much time trying to Teach compassion. Perhaps I should just Be compassionate.
To veteran Zen practitioners this is really basic Zen, I guess- they are not much about teaching you every step but more about helping you discover it for yourself. I think I spend so much time worrying that my kids will veer down the wrong path that I have to sometimes let go and let them steer for themselves. I am always there, showing by example, and just being.
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