Mother's Day

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So I meant to post something on Mother's Day. Something super cool and profound about being a mom in this crazy world while still trying to provide the best parenting I can to my daughters.
So yeah. I did some laundry instead. We did mother's day breakfast with presents and then I spent the day in my regular routine.
Nothing profound. Nothing actually cool. 

I was on a business trip last week and these are always a glimpse into life without children, home, spouse obligations and I think some people embrace it and take advantage of the 'freedom' that it introduces. 
However, I found that this proposed freedom wound up being an apparition if you will, for me. I was at a conference and so these ideally can be as intense or as relaxed as you want them to be. You make your own schedule. No one is checking how many sessions you go to. (well except those volunteers at the door with the badge readers). It seems like the perfect setting to travel to a land far far away and to just indulge in what you miss most.
This porthole into an alter life though is not as exciting and crazy as I thought. One would assume that when transporting to said freedom, one would assume a new identity. Carefree. Stressfree. However, it seems I carried over the idiosyncrasies that I have as a mom. Fun Starts Here.
Not. 
For one, I am not a fan of loud noises when at home. Apparently I don't like them even without kids around and so all the after party events pretty much seemed unappealing to me. Fail number one.

At home I like plans and schedules but sometimes long for a break. You would think on a trip I get this break. No. I still wind up being the group's daily coordinator and alternate event planner. Not because I am great at it but I'm the only one who will do it.

At home, I work a lot. When I get freedom, apparently I work more. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? Well no kids, no dinners to make, no homework to chase down, no house to clean, no laundry to do. What shall I do with my time? Read a book? Run a marathon? No! I will work More! Seriously.

At home, I think a lot about going dancing again, or going to a cool restaurant that has too many breakable place settings and music you actually want to hear. When I am away I realized that I really only want to do these things with my husband. So although I may try to go to a restaurant with colleagues it always pales in experience to that I would have with my husband. Fail number 3.

At home, I Long to sleep in. Even on days where my husband graciously takes the kids I still wind up getting up at the crack of dawn. So, I assumed while away I can sleep in. But No! Apparently waking up at the crack of dawn carries over to various time zones. What fun. 

At the end of my trip, not only had I not taken part of the Chicago life that I assumed I would but I was even disappointed in myself for being so - well- boring.

However, on my drive home from the airport I realized something. My perspective on life has changed but not because I am boring, but because I have become a new person. Well sort of. 
My new persona may have some fuddy-duddy qualities to the average, untrained eye, but a master in this world will tell you that I have found completeness and happiness in the simples of things. 
A family.
As stressful and consuming as it can be, it is who I am and I prefer this life over this alternate one that I once had. I am a working mom and that is a new identity all its own that only a few can assume and appreciate.
I may not do the clubs, and upscale restaurants anymore. It also seems that although those seem like things that I should like to do (since I liked them at one time right?) I just like different things now. 
I like cooking dinners for my family.
I like listening to my husband's crazy day at work and not understanding half of  what he does.
I like the hug I get from my youngest when I arrive home.

That last thing. If you have never had one of those. Well, I will just tell you it just makes it all worth it.
So although nothing seriously profound. Not really all that cool. It was an eye opening moment to preceed Mother's Day. I am a mother, and I love it.
Deep bows to all the mums out there.

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