zen motherhood

 In June of 2019 my husband found out that he has non-Hodgkins Follicular Lymphoma. A type of blood cancer that accounts for only 4% of the cancers in the US. There is no cure. I, on the other hand, do not have cancer. I do not have any diseases that I am aware of. I have some weird gluten intolerance but that is about it. But I felt the need to write about dealing with cancer as a spouse and moving to a new country during a pandemic and how that has impacted me emotionally. My hope is that other spouses/partners/family members who have someone close in the same boat may find some connection with this post.  The data is not conclusive on whether or not those with NHL are more susceptible to the corona virus. Because it's a blood cancer and because it can impact your immune system, there are theories on what could happen but not sure I want to test that out and become of the first data point if it there are negative impacts. The cancer attacks the lymph nodes and for my husband it h

Dropping off my youngest for daycare was always a battle. As a toddler I would need to perform the drop and run to 'trick' her. By the time she figured out I was gone,  a meltdown was past its prime delivery time so she would move on.  In recent years it has gotten easier. She rode a bus for a bit which helped as there were other kids there and she was still at the age that she would hug me and say good bye. Since my daughter has turned 12, the 'change' has set in. I don't mean the obvious one, but I mean the tween- teen-distancing-I-find-you-embarrassing change. We have set the ground rules though, the more you act embarrassed, the more we will be embarrassing. I think it's tied to Newton's third law, I'm not sure. We can't help ourselves as parents. I also don't care about looking foolish in front of other 12 year olds. That's the beauty of being a parent and almost 50. Your pool of people I-Get-Embarrased-In-Front-Of gets a lot smaller.  W